Ms. Lauryn Hill Taught Me Confidence
June, 1998.
56 Hope Road, Kingston, Jamaica.
A 23 year old emcee, maybe the best in the world, walks out of Tuff Gong, the studio built by reggae legend Bob Marley, having finished an ambitious project that she’s calling The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. On it, one of the most scathing, most influential, and, according to the legendary MC Lyte, “most beautifulest diss records ever to be recorded,” - its barrel leveled directly at former lover and Fugees bandmate, Wyclef Jean.
I’m Kris Hampton, and this is how Ms. Lauryn Hill Taught Me Confidence.
Despite later being added to many lists of the greatest hip hop songs of all time, “Lost Ones” wasn’t one of the singles we were blessed with leading up to the album release. Instead we heard “Doo Wop (That Thing)”, “Ex-Factor”, and “Everything is Everything”. So we knew the album was going to be fire. It was going to be beautiful. And just like in the “Doo Wop” video, it was going to be the best of two Ms. Lauryn Hills: the singer and the rapper.
But could Lauryn carry an entire album on her own? In the midst of a public fallout from the Fugees, with Wyclef hitting new levels of stardom with his own solo project, could she stay focused? Miseducation hit store shelves on August 25th, 1998, and 60 seconds in, we knew.
It’s funny how money change a situation.
Miscommunication lead to complication.
My emancipation don’t fit your equation.
I was on the humble you on every station.
She wasn’t going to ease in. She was coming through with a battering ram, guns blazing, going straight for the kill. No hesitation.
Yeah, I’m on my own. I know you thought I’d fall on my face. Shit, watch what happens.
In 1988, a 13-year-old Lauryn Hill would earn a spot on the famed Showtime at the Apollo Amateur Night. Fifteen seconds into her performance, the famously fickle crowd begins to react, loudly booing. What does she do? She takes the mic from its stand, finds her groove, and dives in deeper. The surprised crowd? They slowly quiet down. They begin to clap along. And when she nails the closing notes - well, mostly nails - they erupt in cheers.
As a group, the Fugees - Lauryn and Wyclef, along with fellow emcee Pras - released their first album, Blunted on Reality, in 1993. It sold 12,000 copies over the next three years. That’s not even hood-rich. What did they do? Recorded and released The Score, widely considered one of the greatest albums ever of any genre, and selling, up to now, 22 million copies worldwide.
And then, eight years removed from her experience at The Apollo, Lauryn once again takes that same stage, alongside her bandmates. The show opens with “How Many Mics”, the first song from their brand new album The Score. Less than 60 seconds into the performance, with the crowd politely clapping along but not at all convinced, Wyclef deads the music.
“Hold up, hold up, hold up. Yo, we got a problem, the crowd isn’t moving. What’s going on? I’ll take this side, you take this side.” And if you listen closely you can hear Lauryn say, “I’m a take the middle. I’m a take the middle. Watch it.”
I’ve been here. I’ve done this. I own this shit. Front and center. This is my mic. My stage.
Acappella, she begins free-styling:
The waxy residue on your rhyme style is ridiculous.
If you’re misogynist then you probably cannot get with this.
And as the beat from BDP’s “The Bridge is Over” drops in, the crowd goes out of their fucking minds.
Ms. Lauryn Hill is a phoenix. She’s been burned and proven herself over and over again. First time I heard the song, I expected the hook to be that lush singing voice we’d all learned to hope for. But the first chorus - the beat strips down to just the drum break and she steam rolls through it, in that same can’t be stopped tone with a chanting chorus of people joining in like it’s just another day in a cypher on the block.
Who you gon' scrimmage, like you the champion?
You might win some, but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is rooted in the appreciation of our abilities, while arrogance is built on an exaggerated view of those same abilities. If there had been arrogance in the Fugees, it wasn’t Lauryn. She WAS hip hop. Hell, she had transcended hip hop, adding new layers to the culture. There’s NO WAY to exaggerate the importance of that voice.
She knew the mountaintop she stood upon.
You can hear it in her delivery:
Some wan' play young Lauryn like she dumb
But remember not a game new under the sun
Everything you did has already been done
I know all the tricks from Bricks to Kingston
Wyclef had chosen, and it wasn’t Lauryn. So she’d moved on. And reportedly, when she’d gotten pregnant, her former lover couldn’t take it.
Since the beginning of time, men have taken on the role of hunter/provider. And some seem to believe that leaves them entitled to certain due respect that they aren’t bound to reciprocate. And, since the beginning of time, when not shown that respect they feel entitled to, men have turned petty.
So she moved on again. Away from the the Fugees, away from her home, Brick City - Newark, New Jersey - to Kingston, Jamaica. New studio. New family. New confidence. New career. New fire.
Is there a more severe diss than saying, in the most straightforward and confident tone of voice, “See what I’m doing? I obviously don’t need you.”
And THEN, after 2 minutes of straight heat, that most beautifulest voice comes in:
You just lost one, it’s so silly how come
OH SHIT.
Is there a harder diss than saying, “Look, I know that someday, some time, some place, you might win some, but this one? This one right here? This ain’t it. It’s so silly. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
Never mind the fact that Miseducation gets nominated for 10 Grammy’s and goes on to win five of those, including being the first hip hop album to win Album of the Year. Never mind the 20 million records sold, making Ms. Hill the first female emcee to go diamond - and then double diamond. We don’t have to go into the fact that this album helped birth the whole Neo-Soul genre. Let’s just remember that she wrote and recorded this album while pregnant and becoming a new mother.
Now some might mistake this for just a simple song, and
some don't know what they have ‘til it's gone, now
even when you're gone you can still be reborn, and
from the night can arrive the sweet dawn, yeah
Confidence isn’t being strong enough to just take whatever is thrown at you. It’s the ability to receive it, respond to it in kind - even if that means anger, hurt, frustration, and maybe even vengeance - and then to let it go. To breathe again. To move on.
Is there a more vicious diss?
You just lost one. You just lost one.
Nine times in a row. NINE TIMES. And you can hear her harmonizing in the background:
It’s so dumb.
This is how she ends the song. The very first song on her debut album as a solo artist. Straight up venom wrapped in a silk scarf. Pure confidence.
And the last thing we hear is her giggling. She’s having fun with this.
And I ask you…
Is there a colder diss?
Thanks for listening to Hip Hop Taught Me Everything. This whole show - from imagery to writing to beats to the website to final mixes - is created by the two of us: Kris Hampton and Devin Dabney.
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